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Empress of the Undisired

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June 14th, 2006

02:45 am: My apologies
I owe you all an explaination. It's been a year and a month since I've had contact with anyone. Which still scares me now. As none of you know, I've been battling with depression and substance abuse for 2 years. I've been clean for one of those. Some of you caught on quick enough. Others had no idea. I completelly flunked school after missing 54 days in 6 months. It was getting pretty bad.
On May 31 I was taken from my sofa by two strangers and escourted to North Carolina. I spent 2 months in the woods in a wilderness program created for kids like me. After completing that, I was shipped off to an alternative boarding school where I have been for 11 months. I see my folks every 2 months. This is my first time home since.
I'm still me. Ish. Minus the bursts of emo aggrivation and drugs. I'm really into art now ( who new?), fencing, chess, ( before I continue, I have not morphed into a nerd as it may appear), snowboarding, and I've grown my hair out. It's almost normal. I'm only here until Sunday, when I'll fly back. But I wanted to tell you all the truth before I go. I owe it to you.

Current Location: home
Current Mood: crushedcrushed
Current Music: Stereogram

May 19th, 2005

08:07 pm:

And it's so about time

Me and many moreCollapse )

May 15th, 2005

07:09 pm:

Current Mood: amusedamused
Current Music: Marilyn Manson- User friendlly
11:11 am: ** Dont evencomment on my choice of language. I curse like a mad Irish woman. Gee, I wonder why.....
Right, I'm updating this from Ashleys house, where I crashed last night. Kick ass. We snuck out a couple times to hang with this Nazi- Hottshot and his friend, who's name I keep forgetting so I refer to him as" Jew".  It was fucking great.

Ash andI are getting a band together. She plays guitar, and so do. I would do the vocals because I have a raspy garage-band voice. :)

Right, thats it for me.

Semper Fi

:P


Current Mood: hothot
Current Music: Anna Nalick- " Breathe"

May 14th, 2005

10:32 am:

Finally back from Washington! Hurrah! I havent slept for what, like, 3 days?

Newest CD's:

1. Foo Fighters- one by one ( cant wait for " In Your Honor")

2. Weezer- Make Believe

3. The New Pornographers- Matador At Fifteen

4. Interpol- Antics

5. Nine Inch Nails- With Teeth

 

This is what happens when you give me 100$ to either spend on food- or not- in Washington, where everything is cheaper because of taxes.



Current Mood: tiredtired
Current Music: The New Pornographers- " Graceland"

May 8th, 2005

07:30 am: 3 cheers for mothers day

Ok, first, and most importantlly, I gots me Nine Inch Nail tickets! YOW! ok, so thats quite inmortantKinda makes up for not getting into Audioslave.

 

Ok, well, I'm setting the record for a couple of thing. Yes, this is another list.

1. No, I did not make out with Samantha and I'm sure ass hell not dating her.

2. Yes, I'm in the 9th grade at Smith

3. No, I'm not a crack fiend

4. Yes, High School Guys are so hotter than Middle School guys

5. Yes, I'm STILL with Jake.

 I just realized I hadnt put up any pictures of my board.

Hip Hip Horray.



Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: White stripes- Hotel Yurba

May 2nd, 2005

09:12 pm:

My hair is being its self again. I had ONE good day. Now it looks like a cross between Bon Jovi and Courtney Love gone Irish. Uhg. The creative part of my brain has been kidnapped by ninjas. I cant write any awsome songs and I'm missing my song sheets. I cant turn in my essays and I'm missing all my picks. I'm losing my mock gift here.

Random fact of the day: The plastic tree thats been in my grandmothers house for the past 20 years is acually a fake marijuana bush.

I've been refered to as a drug, a lesbian, and a typical Irish woman multiple times today. My self confidence has been smushed into goo. My vans are falling apart. I'm a mess.

oh! popcorn!



Current Mood: lovedadored.
Current Music: interpol- "specialist"

April 29th, 2005

07:19 pm: Chaos is as chaos does.

This week in a list:

1. My father has two years to live.

2. No one reads this thing anymore.

3. Jake and I are not exclusive ( thank god)

4. I have a mother who's famous among a bunch of organized OCD freaks

5. My goldfish, Rasputin, hates my father.

6. I tried bleaching my hair.

7. It worked.

8. A little.

9. I'm truelly, madly, deeply in love with a junior.

Picture of the week: 

I snapped this one in the park the other day. I just thought it ruled. I think most French Woodites and Smith High kids would adore it.



Current Mood: complacentchill
Current Music: Audioslave- " Cochise"

April 27th, 2005

01:38 am: I have until Friday to get a prom date. * gets out butterfly net,facepaint, and blondie cd*. Oh this is war man. Samantha was even asked to go to my prom. She doesnt even go to my High School. Life's a bitch.

My half blind grandmother was on a date last night and she stuck a fork in her eye.

Or maybe it was a spork......

4 THINGS OLDER THAN MY LUCKY CHARMS:

1. Jesus.

2. The sun

3. Time

4. My frosted flakes

Now that my mother's out of town, no one does the shopping. Now I'm hungry and I just broke a tooth because of fucking expired lucky charms.

Current Mood: bitchybitchy
Current Music: Courtney Love- Mono

April 25th, 2005

09:04 am: men arent dogs, their just big puppies.

I duobt many people are going to read this, most of my friends got bored with livejournal anyway. But here it goes. I found out more about my birth mother. She was a fighter pilot, born and raised in Ireland. I was her second child. Ya, special, eh? Oh, and my father's reacting poorlly to his treatment, so he's starting a new one. The doctors say he has 2 years left. 6 at most. Fab. I coulda guessed that. He wants to live his life normally, and I cant blame him. He'll be ok if they find a new treatment, but so far, there isnt much hope. When I was 10 he took me to meet Bono, a prize I won off K Rock. I brought my father because he had once worked with him on a deal. He new my father was  very ill, even then. He patted me on the back and looked at me through those famous sunglasses and for once and it would be the last time, I saw empathy. His father died when he was young. And now, whenever I here that song of his " Sometimes You Cant Make it on Your Own" I just want to break down. I break down because I am alone. When things get bad, my mother normal leaves. Right now she's in California. Leaving me to pick up the pieces. It's been like that since I was little. She was in Nevada when I met Bono.

I got that new job at Doctor Geary's. I'll be working pretty easy hours, leaving me time to do my shift at the hospital. Fab. I mean, the pay is ok, but I'll be so friggin busy. Ahhh.

Oh yeah, I have to admit, I'm VERY hung over. After I got the news last night before the passover thing, I kinda flipped out and split a bottle with this Sophmore at NYU. He was cute, but I dont remember if I did anything with him. I kinda hope I did, and kinda hope I didnt. Way too old for me, but I havent gotten any action in a week. But I look great now, like great that, as Ashley a verify, aproached by strangers and recited peotry to. I recentlly got abbs and my lovelly choker, so that explains it. But if I look so great, why am I stuck with one week to get a fucking prom date. I know I'm new so I didnt have time to prepare, but still. I have some guys who I could go with but nah. I've got a target and you all know how driven I am. If I want something, I'll fight, debate, and massacre.

You know it



Current Mood: drunkhung over
Current Music: Cake- " guitar"
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